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You’re thinking, “Aw man, this is going to be great. There was the girl who invited me to her senior year final dance in college who was all over me much more than I was all over her.There was the super sweet, cute Midwestern girl in med school whom I tried so hard to charm.There he was, showing up outside your castle window every day in his mostly shiny but frankly also a little rusty armor, strumming his lute and warbling his troubadour songs. Now, I don’t know exactly what was going on in your particular situation, Sheila, since I wasn’t there.There he was at the opera house, his head low and eyes up giving him that simultaneously worshipful and conspiratorial look, passing you a note saying, “Meet me at the fountain when the clock tower strikes nine.” There he was, texting you right back when you texted him, even asking you out on actual grown-up dates to actual grown-up places like concerts and lectures, and then… However, I do know that I have been that man many, many times.He senses that his enthusiasm for sex is far greater than yours, and knows this won’t play out well in the long run.He senses that your enthusiasm for sex is far greater than his.And if his interest in you is limited from the start, then things can only go so far. Communicate with the fellow as clearly and directly as possible to find out what he’s looking for in a relationship: “So, what are you looking for in a relationship? ” Your senses are on high alert, and you just can’t wait to pounce. Here was the lion, with its advanced hunting software doing what it’s been doing for eons… Now he has to rethink the whole situation, perhaps totally losing interest in this particular gazelle.” Imagine you’re a lion on the African savanna, stalking a gazelle. Then, suddenly, the gazelle sees you from the corner of its eye, turns around, and starts galloping towards you at full speed. This is not how things are supposed to go — I’m supposed to be the one chasing! Much simpler to deal with the script he’s familiar and prepared to deal with: Lion chase. This one has happened to me a lot, and it operates at such a primal, unconscious level that even I myself marvel at the speed and vehemence with which I lose interest when she starts chasing me more than I’m chasing her.
One saving grace is that most people, male or female, usually aren’t doing this stuff deliberately.
It’s more accurate to attribute this kind of behavior to cluelessness rather than malice, with also makes it easier on you.
In the meantime, it still sucks to be on the receiving end.
He didn’t have the courage to ask your supercute friend out, but you were cute enough, more attainable, and standing next to her, so voilà.
He actually likes you, but he finds your earnest Christian tendencies dampening his enthusiasm.